小狗的故事

当我还是一只小狗时，我会用我的滑稽动作逗你开心，让你开怀大笑。你叫我你的孩子，尽管我的鞋子被咬坏了，枕头被弄坏了，但我还是成了你最好的朋友。每当我表现得“不好”时，你就会摇着手指问我“你怎么能这样？”——但随后你就会心软，把我翻过来让我揉揉肚子。

我的家庭训练比预期的要长一点，因为你非常忙，但我们一起努力。我记得那些晚上在床上依偎着你，听你吐露心声和秘密梦想，我相信生活再完美不过了。我们在公园里散步和跑步，开车兜风，停下来吃冰淇淋（我只买了甜筒，因为“冰淇淋对狗不好”，你说），我在阳光下睡了很长时间，等你一天结束后回家。

渐渐地，你开始花更多时间在工作和事业上，也花更多时间寻找人类伴侣。我耐心地等待你，在你伤心和失望时安慰你，从不责备你的错误决定，在你回家时和你坠入爱河时欢呼雀跃。

她，现在是你的妻子，不是“狗迷”——但我仍然欢迎她来到我们家，试图向她表达爱意，并听从她的命令。我很高兴，因为你也很高兴。后来，人类婴儿出生了，我和你一样兴奋。我对他们的粉红色、他们的气味着迷，我也想成为他们的母亲。只有她和你担心我会伤害他们，我大部分时间都被赶到另一个房间，或者被赶进狗笼。哦，我多么想爱他们，但我成了“爱的囚徒”。

随着它们长大，我成了它们的朋友。它们紧紧抓住我的皮毛，用颤颤巍巍的腿站起来，用手指戳我的眼睛，探查我的耳朵，亲吻我的鼻子。我喜欢它们的一切，尤其是它们的抚摸——因为你现在很少抚摸它们了——如果需要的话，我愿意用生命来保护它们。

我会偷偷溜进他们的床上，听他们诉说烦恼和秘密的梦想。我们一起在车道上等待你的车子驶来。曾经有一次，当别人问你有没有狗时，你会从钱包里拿出我的照片，给他们讲我的故事。过去几年，你只是回答“有”，然后转移话题。我已经从你的狗变成了“一只狗”，你对我的每一次花费都心怀怨恨。

现在，你在另一个城市有了新的职业机会，你和他们将搬到一个不允许养宠物的公寓。你为你的“家人”做出了正确的决定，但有一段时间我是你唯一的家人。

在我们到达动物收容所之前，我对开车的路程感到很兴奋。那里有狗和猫的味道，有恐惧和绝望的味道。你填了表格，说“我知道你会给她找到一个好归宿的。”他们耸耸肩，痛苦地看着你。他们理解一只中年狗或猫所面临的现实，即使是有“表格”的。

你不得不将你儿子的手指从我的项圈上掰开，因为他尖叫着“不，爸爸！请不要让他们带走我的狗！”我为他担心，担心你刚刚教给他的关于友谊和忠诚、关于爱和责任以及对所有生命的尊重的课程。你拍拍我的头，避开我的目光，礼貌地拒绝带走我的项圈和皮带。你有一个最后期限要满足，现在我也有一个。

你离开后，两位好心的女士说你可能几个月前就知道要搬家了，却没有试图帮我找另一个好房子。她们摇摇头，问道：“你怎么能这样呢？”

在收容所里，他们尽可能地照顾我们。当然，他们会给我们喂食，但几天前我就没了胃口。起初，只要有人经过我的围栏，我就会冲到前面，希望是你——你改变了主意——这一切都是一场噩梦……或者我希望至少有一个人关心我，任何可以救我的人。当我意识到我无法与嬉戏玩耍的快乐小狗争夺注意力时，我退到远处的角落等待，它们对自己的命运毫不知情。

一天结束后，她来找我，我听到了她的脚步声，我跟着她沿着过道走到另一个房间。那是一个安静无比的房间。她把我放在桌子上，揉了揉我的耳朵，告诉我不要担心。我心跳加速，期待着接下来会发生什么，但同时也感到一阵轻松。爱情的囚徒已经没有多少日子了。按照我的天性，我更关心她。她身上的负担让她感到沉重，我知道这一点，就像我知道你的每一种情绪一样。

她轻轻地将止血带绑在我的前腿上，泪水顺着她的脸颊流下。我舔了舔她的手，就像我多年前安慰你那样。她熟练地将注射针头插入我的静脉。当我感觉到刺痛和冰凉的液体流遍全身时，我睡眼惺忪地躺下，看着她善良的眼睛，喃喃道：“你怎么能这样呢？”

也许是因为她听懂了我的狗语，所以她说：“我很抱歉。”她拥抱了我，并急忙解释说，她的工作是确保我去一个更好的地方，在那里我不会被忽视、虐待或抛弃，也不必自谋生路 - 一个充满爱和光明的地方，与这个尘世截然不同。

我用尽最后一点力气，试图用尾巴拍打她，告诉她我的“你怎么能这样？”不是对她说的。我想的是你，我亲爱的主人。我会永远想着你，永远等着你。

"When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" - but then you'd relent and roll me over for a bellyrub.

My housetraining took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed, listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs," you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.

She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" - still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love."

As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them, especially their touch - because your touch was now so infrequent - and I would have defended them with my life if need be.

I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams. Together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being your dog to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.

Now you have a new career opportunity in another city and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family.

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog or cat, even one with "papers."

You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a goodbye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too.

After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked "How could you?"

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you - that you had changed your mind - that this was all a bad dream...or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited.

I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table, rubbed my ears and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood.

She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"

Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself - a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place.

With my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not meant for her. It was you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of. I will think of you and wait for you forever.

作者：Co1dnight usa